Wednesday, April 30, 2008



Thursday, April 24, 2008

Heather's Post

Heathers Mucky World

Blog Request/Time/Mask Time

Evidently time spent with me has suddenly been deemed very important by my husbands daughter, Heather, who isn't so sick after all but very willing to use a mask so we can visit and have some one on one time before she drives back to UC Davis-after all she drove all this way-she understands the germ thing and will use a mask-my husband has tears in his eyes-I give in-knowing he has already given permission-I say no touching, mask, do you realize the chances' I'm taking here? He nods, wipes tears, thanks me and goes outside to tell her. Di looks at me-she says well she is in school that is a long way to drive-I say yes, but why now-she's the only one that didn't show-she says well she was in school-I don't remind her it was Spring Break and of the photos she posted-I just look at these and read and read and read-faces -dates and time. There's Lot's of coughing-lots of discussion of wanting to blog about what's happening-lots of time with Dad upstairs downloading pictures. She wants to blog about what's happening with me and how this is affecting her - she eventually leaves never asking me about my blog-there's the dogs water dish....I will call her in the morning and let her know it's here-leave it out on the porch-Tom Zengel will be my caretaker tomorrow starting about 8am-we can work the greenhouse...I've already sorted the recycle, it's ready to go...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


What was supposed to be a low-key, low-stress day began in a panic...I woke up when my husband got up for work to the smell of coffee brewing...I've gone no-caffiene...can't burn it off, why drink it? Anyway, managed to get myself back to sleep for about hour or so...heard coughing fits coming from the upstairs bathroom...made my way to the bathroom for the morning routine and started going over the day in the calendar...Heather, my husband's daughter came down the stairs with her new foster dog Zoe, an eleven month old, on leash...I said I heard coughing, are you sick? She said, yes, all this yellow stuff is in there trying to come out....I put up my arm and asked her to leave, take the dog, leave...pack her stuff back into the car, perhaps she could stay at Charlie and Emily's the neighbors, but I could not be exposed to germs at this time...I was now in a panic mode! I woke Megan, who was my caretaker for the night and day and had her strip the linens, start the wash, take the pillows out on the porch, and open up the windows upstairs. I then had her bring me upstairs so I could email my husband with the news. Megan and I were scheduled to have lunch at the Redland Cafe, where my daughter and her friend Kristan work, and we did, it was soooo wonderful. I had the Veggie rocked! I ate it all! Thanks Redland Cafe! We did various errands on the way home...I felt really good about the day and my handling of the events. My daughter in law Christy, brought the grandkids over a little after 3pm. I enlisted her services in trying to find a book I wanted to take to Tuscon as a hostess gift, but the more we searched the harder it was to locate...I swear it was here a few weeks ago! By this time I was over stressed and tiring grandchildren really wanted to sit and paint with me and my eyes were stressed to the point where I could barely see...I conveyed this to Christy, who helped me get downstairs, and semi-settled at the dining room table while she prepared snacks...we called Di to come home because the kiddos needed to get home and get started on their homework assignments. Christy managed to help me get settled on the couch bed, while reading the "Wild Things"...I promptly fell asleep...waking to my youngest grandson, Boaz, kissing me on the cheek and saying good bye grandma! I fell back into a sound, sound, sleep for about two hours and then woke to a screaming stomach, and need to eat NOW! I was gathering food, cheesy chicken bake, that our friends the Jackson's brought on Sunday and stuffing it into a pie tin in the oven when my husband walked in and said I was about to get dinner started..fine, but I really must was seven o'clock! I had pills to take and knew exactly what I needed to do for myself. I managed to heat up my cheesy rice chicken casserole, eat enough to satisfy myself...wrap up the rest, and lose my husband! He reappeared about 8:15, I asked when he was planning on putting the potatoes in to bake and he said he just got the hell out of my way and was ready to get that started I imagine dinner will be about ten or ten thirty tonight...I'll be hungry again, not a problem! I can't stop talking or eating! Oh, and this afternoon, all the airport work I did, for our trip to Tuscon, and escort through the various airports, was deleted by hubby who thought it was phishing of a threat...he read my email about it all after the fact! So I need to start all over...not sure I'm up to it tonight...might just read blogs instead. By the way, thanks for the continued support...I know it's how I managed to make it through this day! The love you have all shown me daily is unbelieveable! Thanks!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Monday Morning!

Today at 11:30 a.m. some of my Story Time children will arrive with a picnic lunch...we are going to Pimp Out my is entirely too utilitarian for my taste! I have beads, stickers, jingle bells, more stickers...and have started the process leaving examples and choices. I am very excited. It snowed like a son of a gun here after hubby left for work...had to wake the kids to fuel the fire. I'm heading downstairs again for a bite to eat and a nap before my exciting afternoon...hope to let yo know later how it went!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Radiation Thearpy Completed!!!

Hi everybody! Radiation Therapy has been completed! Thank you all for holding me up in prayer, chanting, mediatiation,'s done...I can't tell you they joy I felt as they unswcrewed my mask for the last time and I was able to carry that out in my arms and know I was done with Radiation Therapy!

I had reserved a table at out local bakery and bought four inch color spots (pansies), I had my Dear Uncle Bruce go to the local art store and have my blog address printed on card stock with thank you printed on another color of card stock (which they made a a bit of mistake on when printing and I failed to notice until we were done-but oh well) then we used/recycled all the tissue paper from my hospital stay and made cute little cozies with rubber bands on each pot...we then used the bbq sticks to hold the card stock, which fit in the pots just perfect and took left over ribbon and curled it and tied the thank-you, off...looked really cool! I arrived at my last radiation with a gift for every one that helped me...I think they were awestruck...I love pansies...the seeds spread naturally calories, they can get a glimpse of me, my paintings, etc.

We had various people visit us at the while working on our project and eating a lovely breakfast...thanks Linda and Sandy, waitresses, friends.

We then headed to the library where Rhonda gave my Uncle a comprehensive tour of our lovely new library ...I keep having link problems...go Google my library, it's Estacada Public Library, or send me comment that will help me get this done...take a tour of our beautiful establishment...I am so proud to be a part of it! Sarah, one of my favorie coworkers, that I have known since she was a little girl, helped me into the Children's closet where we filled a bag with stickers, ribbons, bows, etc. to Pimp Out my cane...we grabbed some drawing paper, a Giant Pop Up Book, a Giant Where's Waldo and packed it out to my Uncle Bruce's car...alll this will be for the children to keep busy and entertained that are scheduling short picnic visit with me next week to cover my 24 hour care! Yahoooooooooo! I so miss my little people!
Back track a bit here...sorry!
The crew at the Radiation Therapy was as excited for me and we all hugged at the end. Thank you my radiation crew!
My husband, Langdon, who works in the Main Operating Room at St. Vincent's Hospital, was able to schedule himself to be there for my last was an awesome experience!
We were talking so much on the way home that my Uncle and I missed the highway turn-off and took a very unexpected whirlwind tour of the Willamette Valley through and around was beautiful but we were a few hours doing it...we ended up calling and letting the household know...I had celebrated with a half of sandwich and an Americana with an extra shot, so I was buzzing...and it all worked out!

One of my collected children, Kim, was due for a visit at 6:30, so I voice mailed her at 6:15 from the local grocery store, so she had updated information for my husband who arrived to find her and Annie waiting and no us. We had a lovely dinner and I crawled into my couch bed and promptly fell asleep! A perfect day!

The mask is waiting for a piece of wood to be mounted on...hubby says he has a great piece of black walnut, and our neighbor Charlie (they once had a protable saw mill business together)...anyway, between them both they will find me a great piece of wood to mount my mask on.

Hubby says it will be the most expensive piece of art work we own!

Just wanted to update all of you! I am overwhelmed at the outpouring of love I have been receiving! Thank you all so very much!


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

That award

Dawn, Mimi and I wanted you to have this for being WHO you ARE!

See attached, download it and post it proudly on your BLOG!

We love you girl!!

I'm so tired this afternoon, and weepy...and I got this...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Look what I got!

Two extra radiations for Mindy's graduation!

I will be taking two extra doses of radiation therapy to help insure that I can get to my granddaughters high school graduation...I am doing/tolerating it that well...this was decided yesterday after an impromptu meeting with Dr. Hansen, my assigned radiation/oncology body will not tolerate any more than that without degenerative issues. I have bought 4" color spots of pansies to leave with my blog address to the techies as a thank you...they get cookies, candy, and such all the time...I want to thank them with a sign of life and they have been talking to me about lawns, flowers, weeding, etc. So, my warriors, die cancer die, four times, same time through Friday...thanks so much...wanted to post this first and will try to get more up before my busy day gets away from are all awesome!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

This is the man who saved my life!

This is the man who saved my life...who cancelled his Spring Break vacation plans with his family and successfully removed the aggressively growing monster inside my head, did not scramble my brain, and allowed me to live to tell about it! He is my hero and I would like to thank him for this, and let his family know how grateful I am for their sacrifices...I have my own way I will thank his two little guys later...He is looking at a hand made card with the hair post...the meeting with him was incredibly encouraging and he was encouraged by the radiation reports...I have today and tomorrow, 2:10-2:15, Die cancer die! (four times) additional necessary...he said it's looking good...I can bend, walk, dig around in drawers, all as tolerated...yeah! Oh mighty warriors, thank you for heralding! Thursday is my first Medical/Oncology meeting which will tell us many's a scary thing for me...must remember to turn on my digital recorder....have lot's of family support coming along...then palliative rest and readying for my birthday trip to friends in Tuscon, AZ, that has been in the planning for a year...the lady in the pics/mirror is really a stranger to me, but I'm not on the mantle in a box! I have resolved a few issues, or they have been resolved for me that I had been struggling with since 1998, and am going to write a book about this experience and do a pop-up, there are never enough pop-ups, on Unconditional massage therapist just day is about to begin...I love and appreciate you all!

Sunday, April 13, 2008


There seems to be some concern about my hair. Believe me my neuro surgeon is the worst...he keeps saying he did not order my bald head and appeared extremely upset over it...after talking to my husband while en route to radiation on Wednesday, I was enlightened, I guess you could say, by the vanity in today's world. He said people's lives are saved, and then the doctors are sued because the small area that they shave to operate is cut crooked or an infection takes place because they tried to keep the area to a minimum for appearances sake. I'm the one who called my husband at home and asked him to call the lovely Miss Sheila, our personal friend and hairdresser to do me the honors. She only lives 10 minutes from the hospital I was in, she loved me, and I felt it would be best to have a bald clean area for the surgeons to work, and hair grows...I knew that I would just donate it to Locks of Love, and there was plenty of it. My hair had been waist length for years because I was lazy and it was easier to grow and twist into a bun at work or outside that it was to style or go get cut every six weeks or so. Miss Sheila gave me a call and said she was on her way. My daughter Mel, First Born Child of My Loins, assisted me in the shower and began the comb out process. By the time Sheila was there, we had called Nurse Becky for the anti-anxiety drug just in case, up until then I had refused it, saying I preferred being coherent in my visitations as long as I could...actually, this was harder on Sheila emotionally than I. Too bad I couldn't share the drugs. The biggest obstacle we faced was waiting for a broom and a dustpan at the end, we'd made quite a mess of the room. I'm about to make my surgeon a thank you card and I really want to alleviate his sense of doom about my hair. It's hair, it grows, I don't understand the vanity issue involved here.

Friday, April 11, 2008

I realized that those of you who met me through this incredible cyber world have no idea or what I looked like before this crazy event...I had been careful not to use photos or that it has gone informational I thought I owed you a photo of what I actually looked like in real life...this is me and granddaughter, Kimberly Rachel, at the Grand Opening of The Estacada Public Library...champagne in hand, celebrating...sorry, Kim, you're out there and part of was the most recent good photo I managed to find this morning...time to go downstairs and have the Lovely Lila Brown assist me with my grooming and wait for daughter in law Christy (who turned 35 yesterday...happy birthday!) drive me to my radiation...set your alarms, die cancer die, four times...thanks...maybe more later.

This is Rob.

My kids in the elevator, seeing me off to tests...Mel, Shell, Megs, Rob, Brandy, Jake, and Di.

Me, life saver head, I think it was Saturday or maybe Sunday...drugs. Hey, I'm laughing for the camera!

My dear friends Shelly and Wendy...obviously post op...the dressing, not much memory or time line of actual events...the girls will help me with updating that stuff later.

My bulletin board...notice the wild rumpus...I am the story lady...I kept repeating that.

Beautiful butterflies by the lovely Miss Brandy!

Nurse Steve, I believe, I didn't look so good here...know it's post op, there's a bandage.

My room post op...never alone...always loved...very confused but grateful!

She had more hair when she was born...she is so beautiful!

Sheila's reaction to Mel's solidarity!


The Essense of Lila...true love and absolute delight! Evidently post op, I see a dressing...I remember saying come, let me smell you!


Wow! This radiation business is keeping my day's transporter team was my dear friend Julie and her daughter Shina...I hope I spelled her name right...daughter came in adorable outfit with apron ready to "serve"...she did well, got the dust bunnies growing along the upstairs hall...cleaned my shower, toilet, and sink to a sparkling sweet smelling place one can delight in had gotten bad...had it been public campgrounds, I would have opted for squatting in the bushes, the shower would have been cleaner from a garden hose...this child of nine wanted to do this and I let her...she also wanted to support me through the radiation, so she came along, her mother drove...I felt so loved! It was a very special time. My bank locked me out on line this morning so they drove me to the bank to take care of that before hand. Thank you Key Bank for fixing the problems! On the way home we stopped at the Cliff House and gorged on appetizers looking out over the Clackamas River...something we always think about doing but usually end up with pbj's on the porch steps and watching over Julie's six kids as they run and jump and was a very special time. I have a request, please pray for my friend Rich, and his wife Alice. Rich has just entered Hospice care and was devastated when he heard my news...Alice called this morning and was relieved that she was able to give me his love. Alice requests that being pain free be the focus, especially during the evening...said I'd love to pass it here goes warriors!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I do know this is me post op on the phone...someone should be filling in my blank spaces here...not sure who I was on the phone with, just glad to be alive!

Mel's sporting Mom's winter hat in her lovely solidarity doo! Miss Lila Brown loving on her! My girls!

Lila's initial reaction (notice the gum on her teeth!) I love all my kids...they were great...I'd open an eye and there would be another...they gave me a bigger room to accommodate my kids! Uncondidtional love rocks...I was lucky enough to experience something most people only think they know about...the story gets better...I'm tired and need to get some sleep...sorry this is disjointed but hey Im dealing with brain tumors...just remember to say die cancer die four times weekdays through the sixteenth at 2:10-2:15 Oregon time...thanks!

Mel's Arrived Home Safely

Mel, Melissa Marie, First Born Child of My Loins, has arrived safely in Las Vegas...her phone message described her walking to her fathers car...I heard the tears, I felt her pain...she left four teen agers, three her daughters, one her brother and was at my side my morning...she did me well, she hurts so bad...I know her Dad and her boyfriend, her brother, and her daughters will hug and sob pile in the big bed! The lovely Miss Lila Brown will arrive shortly and take over for the next two weeks while Mel buys prom dresses and prepares for my oldest granddaughters high school graduation...she'll be back in a few weeks, probably on my birthday...I know she's got her phone alarm set...she's turned out to be a most amazing woman! Thanks Mel, I love you, get your business done, some rest, and remember die cancer die!
Treatment #5 is behind me, back for more tomorrow...realizing that this series of events, this increcible journey, is really most amazing...I'm the local library story teller...I was actually told that this monster inside my head was growing so aggressively that I probably would have just dropped dead within a week...imagine doing the hokey pokey and traumatizing half the two year olds in town! I posted some pictures...briefly explained who they were and will try to get more up...set your alarms..2:10-2:15 again tomorrow and Friday, say die cancer, die...four times the treatment is short...there's something powerful going on here...I envision my storytime kids, stopping what they are doing, and shouting die, cancer, die! My granddaughters phone alarms sounding and them giving the world the hand and saying die, cancer, die! I see warriors out there! Kids are starting to mail me things, I'm pimping out my cane! I keep saying if you could take a brain tumor, turn it into it's worst case scenario and then a show...I'm rocking with it! Staying positive here, what choice do I have?

Di and Jake the Snake...yes, that is her tongue!

My dear friend Shelly telling me to give the "thumbs up"...I see fear...real, fear...thanks to all of you it was short lived...thanks Shelly, I love you!

The lovely Miss Brandy again...she brought sparkling butterflies and decorated my room for me...she always wears that lovely smile, she belongs to Rob and she's wonderful! I love you!

Megan, one of the collection, she's turned out to be not only lovely but one of my dependable transporters for radiation treatment...I travel 46 miles each way for less than ten minutes of about choices, or lack of them...2:10-2:15 pm weekdays, die cancer, die! Told the tech today okay, lets kill em...think I scared the social worker... she suggested thinking clean pink cells, said hell no...thinking die cancer die...

Me, thinking Wow, I may be in big trouble here...and I was on drugs!

Shell, being cute?!

These panties are the joke...I sent them for granny panties, I wasn't son, the preacher, blew up the glove and if you look real close used a plastic spoon to uh, give it some lift!

Shelly asked me to do the bored student pose

Rob, Jake, Brandy

Crazy life safer head woman on drugs...basically they map out the gerbils inside your head...crazy!

Shell awestruck! Mel in the background...isn't she lovely?! I swear the head shave was like a face lift! Obviously I was feeling no pain and easily entertained by those life safer things!

These are post op...the lovely Miss Lila Brown, she is my adopted daughter, she needed a mom, she rocks!

She brought me this lovely I'm Rick James Bitch Wig, behind me my good friends Tom and Sheila. Sheila, is the family hair cutter, she shaved my head for me...she said it was more traumatic for her. They live close to the hospital so when Langdon called and asked her to cut my waist length hair off then shave my head, she called and said she was on her way. I called the nurse and the nurse's some anti-anxiety drugs! Sometimes drugs are good things! Brandy and Rob get their first glimpse of Mel's solidarity! I'm telling you, she had more hair when she was born...and the lovely Miss Lila Brown!

This techie guy is Hazen...he had fun gluing life safers on my newly shaved head...I rang for Adavan, NOT SURE OF THE CORRECT SPELLING ON THAT ONE or some anxiety reducing drug...hell, I had a brain tumor! I must say my doctor kept saying he didn't call for the shaved head...people must be weird about things like that...hell, mine was waist long for decades...I just thought it would be easeir all around to shave my head and be helpful...probably will make two's LOCKS OF LOVE HAIR NOW!

Dianna Rachel, youngest, Monster Child-notice the "M" lip

Melissa Marie, First Born Child of my Loins

Mel, Jake, Shell, Rob, Brandy, peeps, told ya I collected children

That would be me on gurney starting to be sent down under, already shaved my head-kids were laughing at me-I kept saying Wow! My open door policy sure worked for me...then I told the entire ninth floor where to find my house key!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Bring on the Powers that Be!

This week, at 2:10 pm Oregon time I will be receiving the next five radiation treatments. To relax I sing I'm a little tea pot, it really is that short...I think I should rally the powers out there that have gotten me through this so far and am requesting that you stop whatever you are doing and say die cancer, die....I think if you say it four or five times is all it will take...because this site is inoperable, radiation is the key...more later...put on your warrior wings! Thank you!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

I've survived brain surgery!

Life is good, and have I got a story to tell...this may take several posts...tonight's is an attempt to finish some business I never got to before Good Friday (the beginning) please bear with me. First, I had been meaning to pass along my very first blog award and never got around to haunted me during this whole experience and I would now like to pass this to Michelle at She deserves it. She's a good mom. Congratulations Michelle (I do believe you just copy and paste the award onto your sidebar) That being done perhaps I will sleep peacefully tonight. The meds I am on for brain swelling interfere with bad sleeping patterns and restful healing is what I am seeking at this time. My daughter is here for a few more days and will be helping me to "fill in the gaps" and post my journey. If ever there was a story to tell, this is it. To say I survived brain surgery, pain free, never frightened, alone, and at peace is an amazing thing! To the hundreds of angels our there that have led prayer in my name I thank you, your prayers provided a thing of beauty. I have had two days of Radiation and have another eight to go. My family, friends, and community are rallied. My story is truly an amazing one! Please come back tomorrow for the beginning...I'm ready to begin.